Relationships are a delicate balance of power, shifting back and forth between both people at different times. Sometimes it’s equally distributed between people while at other times there’s clearly one person in the couple that’s calling the shots. When it comes to casual, no-strings-attached sex, who’s the boss? If there’s one of the sexes that’s clearly in charge of a casual arrangement it’s definitely women. Women hold almost all of power when it comes to setting up and maintaining casual sex and the men are simply at their mercy. Here are some of the ways that women make the decisions about the terms of a casual sex relationship, and some cases where men get to weigh in too:
When it starts
When two friends of the opposite sex start hooking up it’s usually because the woman finally gave it the green light. If a guy has a hot female friend then it’s almost guaranteed that he would have been up for casual sex from the moment they met, but it’s not until a woman is good and ready that two can hook up. Women like to let the friendship build up and then let the sexual chemistry increase until neither person can stand the tension any longer, making string-free sex an amazing release for both of them. Women love to manipulate the situation this way, making the man wait, for maximum enjoyment when it does happen, whereas if it were left to the men they’d do it right off the bat.
How often it happens
If it were up to men they’d have casual sex with their female friend on a daily basis. Women will either allow this or they’ll come up with another arrangement that best suits their schedule and life, and the guys basically just have to go along with it. Women will keep their men at the appropriate distance to maintain the right balance in a no strings sex arrangement, where men would just do it every chance they get. Women tend to be more of the planners in a relationship and they usually play the long game, while men only think with their body parts about what will feel best in the short term.
Is it going to be a soft, slow, and sweet kind of night, or will the mood be rough and dirty? Or does she want to get kinky and explore your secret fantasies? The tone of the night is determined by the woman and what she wants. Men are up for anything, anytime, anyplace so if anyone is controlling the overall mood of the night it’s definitely the woman. Men love the variety of a different experience each night, they would just never be able to execute a plan like that themselves.
Couples in a no-strings-attached arrangement usually end up falling into a familiar pattern, the same way that committed couples do. This shows up in the local sexual habits within the casual sex pairing – how often it happens, when it happens, and also where it happens. If she’s more comfortable at her place then chances are she’ll always steer the sex to happen there. If you always hookup at your place then it’s usually not an accidental happening but one that she orchestrated based on her preferences.
Who knows about it
When two friends are hooking up it can impact their whole group of friends, or on the flip side, the group of friends can influence the couple. Both people in the no-strings-attached arrangement will have their ideas about how much they want to tell their friends but it’s usually what the woman wants that ends up being the final decision. Women will put more thought into the strategy of who knows what about their arrangement, where men don’t tend to give these things a lot of thought.
Who else they can see
This is one area where the power begins to shift. Is a casual sex arrangement exclusive, or does that make it too controlling? Are the two people involved allowed to date or sleep with other people too? Women will likely analyze every angle of the situation until she comes up with the best solution, but ultimately this is one that both people in the pairing will need to agree on. Men tend to feel very strongly about being tied down and wanting to be able to see other women on the side. If they feel like their casual sex partner is beginning to attach too much he will fight even harder to maintain his independence with other women.
When it ends
Any party can decide to end a no-strings attached sex relationship at any time, and both men and women do this is equal amounts, for varying reasons. Since casual sex is supposed to be commitment free, things will start to unravel when things become too complicated. Men are especially sensitive to entering into a serious relationship so they’ll tend to bolt at the first sign that the woman is starting to attach too much. Women, on the other hand, tend to end things when they grow tired of things or when they feel like they have to manage the man too much or feel like he’s an extra burden in her life.